


You're Not Too Bad Yourself

by robertstanion



Series: My Dear Evan Hansen fics idk what to do with [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Stepbrother AU, evan has aspergers syndrome, jeremy heere is protective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-07-11 22:46:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15982106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: So, apparently one day Jeremy's dad married Evan's mom. Yet Jeremy knew nothing of this situation until Heidi said she was moving in and bringing her son with her. Jeremy's brother Evan Hansen. In a panic, Jeremy tried to impress his brother but only seemed to upset him, until he suggests going to the orchard.





	1. Evan Hansen

Jeremy threw his bag across the room just as Heidi's car pulled up to the driveway. Apparently, Jeremy's dad, James Heere, had recently married Heidi Hansen, now Heidi Heere. Yet, Jeremy knew nothing of this situation. It was wierd. At some point, Heidi would want to move in with them, for they had a bigger house. Jeremy's room was beside an empty room, that seemed to be pulling up with things. But this was wierd because, Jeremy now had a stepmom, someone who would be around, not like Jeremy's biological mother. She was a lot kinder than his actual mother. He shivered. He'd only known Heidi for a year, yet felt closer to her than he ever did to his mom. He sighed as he slid his phone in his jeans as he went to help Heidi. "Hi Heidi!" Jeremy shouted from the top of the stairs. 

"HI JEM!" Jeremy smiled as he bought in some more boxes. 

"So, Heidi, I can still call you Heidi right?"

"Of course Jeremy, it's like how Evan will call James James!" She smiled brightly. James walked off somewhere and Heidi pulled her stepson to the side. "I'm moving in today, hence the boxes, but that means Evan has to come too. You'll try to make him feel welcome?" Jeremy nodded. He was 17 and from what Jeremy had heard, Evan was 16. "JAMES, I'LL SEE YOU LATER!"

"OKAY BABE!" James shouted back. Jeremy gagged inside as Heidi walked out of sight. He whipped his phone out and rang Michael. Michael picked up soon enough. 

"MICHAEL MELL HELP!" He shouted over the phone, walking up the stairs. 

"What's wrong?"

"Firstly, are you high, secondly, I'm meeting my stepbrother for the first time today hELP!"

"Firstly, no I'm not high, yet, secondly, HOLY SHIT DUDE!" Michael shouted on the other end of the phone. 

"JEREMY, HEIDI'S BACK!" James shouted. 

"Micah, I've gotta go, my brother just turned up."

"GOOD LUCK!" Michael shouted on the other end of the line before Jeremy hung up. Jeremy walked down the stairs, leaving his phone upstairs, to see Heidi. "Hi Jem! Evan's in the car. He didn't want to come out yet. I'll ask if he wants you to sit with him." Jeremy nodded. So, his stepbrother had anxiety? Cool. Heidi came in around 4 minutes later. She smiled but hung her head low. "He'll let you sit with you, he, however, wants you to introduce yourself first."

* * *

Evan dreaded this moment. He'd met James. James was nice. But he hadn't met Jeremy. And here he was, too frightened to come out of the car. He sighed as the door clicked open and his eyes darted to the door. "Can I sit here?" The boy asked. He was tall. Very tall, actually, and he had brown hair. He also had blue eyes, but a dark blue, not a teal like his. Evan nodded and faced the window. Jeremy took the opportunity and sat in the car. He shut the door behind him and moved his bangs out of the way of his eyes. He took a breathe. "Hi, my names Jeremy Heere, I'm 17 years of age, I go to Westbrooke High, I'm bisexual but I'm closeted to my dad but not to anybody else. Umm...my best friend is Michael Cameron 'Motherfucking' Mell as he calls himself, and I'm part of a group called 'The Squip Squad' currently single. And obviously, my stepmother's Heidi Hansen and you must be Evan Hansen." Evan nodded, shaking. 

"M-I'm E-Evan J-Joseph H-Hansen and I-I have anxiety a-and I don't l-like meeting n-new people. I-I've always wanted a brother, preferablytallerandoldersohecanhelpmewithmyanxiety..." Evan took a deep breathe. Jeremy laughed slightly and Evan began to relax and control his anxiety. "I used to go to Eastbrooke but of course I'm transferring sometime soon umm....and I think I'm bisexual? I don't know but I have had crushes on boys before. I think...I don't know. Um, mom says I can sing, I don't think I can. And...ugh this is going to sound stupid, but I really like trees."

"Trees are cool, Evan!" Jeremy smiled at his younger brother as Evan began fidgeting. 

"I-I'm really sorry about t-this a-about the stuttering a-and being too s-scared to c-come and meet you. N-New surroundings."

"Would you prefer to type?" Evan nodded as Jeremy handed him his phone. 

 _When I was 9, I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome which is a form of autism which makes me smarter than other people but it also increases my senses and capability to do things. If I have a phobia and I'm around it, I will have an anxiety attack. Only 2 people know. You and mom._ Jeremy read it repeatedly over and over again. 'So my brother doesn't just have anxiety, he kinda has superpowers.' Jeremy thought. 

"Do you want to come out the car? I'll carry you're stuff. You're rooms directly next to me." Evan nodded. What was there to be scared of now. 

* * *

Jeremy helped set Evan's room up. He knew he had to help his brother with his autism. He just felt...he just felt like he had to protect him at school. He didn't know why, but he felt like Evan needed someone to help him. Jeremy watched Evan's exact precision about where he wanted everything. Jeremy had a bigger room anyways because he was older. "Can I have you're phone Evan, just to give you my number?" Evan hadn't spoken since the car incident, but he nodded and handed over his phone, still hanging posters of trees up on the wall. Jeremy typed his number in his phone before placing it beside Evan on Evan's bed. He smiled and walked around the corner to his room. 

_The Time: 23:16_

_07700 900854 (don't call the number it's fake)_

_Unknown: is this Jeremy Heere?_

_Jeremy: yes and this is?  
_

_Unknown: Evan..._

_Jeremy: oh! evan! are you ok?_

_Evan: um...i kinda had an anxiety attack and i'm kinda freaking out._

_Jeremy: want me to come and help you._

_Evan: please._

Jeremy threw his phone on the bed. He knocked on the door. Why was he so protective of Evan! They hadn't even been together for 24 hours, yet Jeremy felt like Evan's life depended on him. He left his phone and flicked the main light on in Evan's room. "Evan, it's me." Jeremy heard a soft whimper come from the bed and he shut the door and sat next to the trembling boy. "Sit up, I got you." Evan tried, but failed, but was surprised to feel Jeremy hugging him. "What happened, Evan?" 

"N-new p-place. S-Scared." That's all Evan could say as tears trickled down his face. Currently, Evan's back was pressed against Jeremy, but Jeremy helped him turn around so Evan could face Jeremy. Jeremy pulled Evan close to him. "It's okay, Ev. Just cry okay, Michael has anxiety I have to deal with this all the time." Jeremy could feel Evan shaking underneath him. Jeremy made out a very distinct muffled "I'm sorry." from Evan. Jeremy shook his head. "It's okay! Don't be stupid! It's a new environment! If you slept in the spare bed in my room, would that make you feel better?" Evan nodded. Evan hadn't had an anxiety attack this bad for a while, but he had Jeremy now, he didn't have to fight it alone. "You ready to move?" Jeremy asked and Evan nodded. "Talk when you're ready, Ev." Jeremy smiled, standing up. 

 

 


	2. First Day Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy drove Evan to school. Then Jeremy explained everything to the principal. A code was shouted over the intercom and Jeremy grabbed his bag and ran. To only find Connor Murphy next to his brother besides a classroom would be bad if Evan wasn't having an anxiety attack.

"Look at you boys! Only been 1 week and it could seem like you've been together for a year!" Evan shifted uncomfortably. 

"OKAY THANKS MOM!" Jeremy shouted sarcastically, slamming his car door shut. "So, first day at Westbrooke? You'll have to meet Michael! He's my best friend! I'm sure you'll get one too!" Evan shifted again. "I'll tell the principal and the teachers the codes for you're anxiety. My dad's usually in touch with the principal. We're on good terms- MOTHER OF JESUS!" Jeremy shouted, hitting the breaks as a car pulled out in front of him. "Sorry Evan, you okay?" Evan nodded. His heart rate had gone up a little bit, but he was okay. He was with Jeremy. Then Jeremy pulled into the parking lot and took Evan the quiet way to the principal's office. Jeremy knocked and let himself in. 

"Ahh! Mr Heere! This must be Mr Hansen, please take a seat." The two boys sat down. 

"Okay so, Evan, this is Mr Davies. He's our principal." Evan nodded. Evan would only listen to Jeremy at the minute. "And sir, this is my stepbrother Evan as I'm sure you've heard. Now sir, Evan has a...condition where sometimes his anxiety goes overdrive and it would help if you pass these codes out to alert me of the situation in case I need to get out of there ASAP. Code Fern is basically a mild anxiety attack where Evan needs to be near me just so it doesn't get any worse. Code Oak means it's slightly worse and he needs to be taken to another room where I can calm him down. Code birch is when Evan needs me at his side at all times because his anxiety's gone overdrive. You'll recognise the signs of a lot of shouting and tapping and shaking. Finally, Code Sapling is when Evan's anxiety is at the max and he can't control himself. I need to get him out of there right there and then or else he could get upset and overwhelmed. Evan will need time in a lesson if it gets too much to just stand outside. This could be triggered by anything like crowds or bullying, but whenever that code is spoken, well any code is spoken, I need to get out of there. Also, please tell teachers I may or may not remember to bring my rucksack with me and please tell Michael Mell to return it to me." The principal nodded. 

"Of course, Jeremy. Now, if I just sort out Evan's schedule with him, can you talk to him?" Jeremy nodded. 

"Evan, sir's going to give you you're schedule now." Evan nodded. 

* * *

_The time: 8:17 AM, first period starts at 9:10_

"HEY JEM!" The squad shouted from a near table. Evan put his hands in his pockets as Jeremy pulled him closer towards him. 

"You okay?" Evan nodded and walked with Jeremy. "Hey guys, pull us a chair."

"Who's the new guy?" Brooke said, eyeing Evan. 

"The 'new guy'" Spoken sarcastically by Jeremy, "Is my stepbrother Evan Hansen. Who probably won't speak a lot this week. Or this month. At all to be honest. Things you should know about my brother, he has extreme anxiety. Also Michael, sir's passing a message on to you first period." Michael nodded. "Okay so Evan..." Evan's teal eyes flew open as he looked at the people. "That lame ass with the red streak in his hair, that's Richard Goranski. Call him Richard to piss him off he looks like a fucking gnome when he runs it's hilarious. The guy next to him is Jake Dillinger, Rich's boyfriend of like 3 days."

"3 years, Jeremy!" Rich said, annoyed. 

"Yeahyeah whatever Richard. The girl with the yellow cardi, that's my ex Brooke Lohst. We're on good terms. The girl next to her, pink jacket, that's Chloe Valentine. The most popular girl in school. Somehow I'm friends with her, don't ask. And that's Jenna Rolan, the one with purple ombre. She snapchatted someone's house burning down. Can't remember who's tho we were all too drunk to focus."

"That was a lit party though!" Jake added.

"And this dude, this is Michael Cameron Mell."

"YOU'RE MIDDLE NAME'S CAMERON MICHAEL WHY HAVE WE NEVER KNOWN ABOUT THIS!" Rich shouted. Michael pulled his hoodie strings and he hid in his hood. 

"And this lovely smol bean, this is also one of my exs Christine Canigula, we're on good terms too." Christine waved at Evan.  _Is this what friends are?_ Evan thought. He smiled. That's when everyone saw Connor Murphy. 

"Now that, Evan, that's Connor Murphy, him and Michael are on good terms so far via someone called Jared Kleinman who I'm introducing you to later. You don't want to talk to him. You can't read him. Everyone, except Michael." Michael hid deeper under the table, but Evan's eyes were fixed on the long haired guy in black...

* * *

_The time: 13:21, fourth period._

Jeremy was sitting in Maths. There was a crackle over the intercom and everyone woke up. Two words were whispered following a location. "Code Sapling, Science corridor." Jeremy's eyes widened. "Michael, give me my bag later." Nobody knew why Jeremy ran out the classroom then and there, but it had to be serious because Jeremy left his bag, and Jeremy never let his bag. People were asking all sorts of questions to Miss Hanson, the maths teacher, but she couldn't answer any of them. 

Things had gotten...a bit much in science when Evan couldn't ask for help. The teacher noticed Evan's distress and nodded for him to go and take a walk in the corridor. He grabbed his bag and walked out the classroom leaving his classmates confused. Evan was by Jeremy's locker and he stayed there, facing the while, trying to regulate his breathing. He was shaking and then he saw him. A guy with long hair. "What are you doing here, Hansen?" That was Connor Murphy, as Jeremy had described. "So, you going to talk?" Connor was obviously angry, but Evan bit his tongue. Hard. He wasn't going to talk. He wanted to. But he couldn't. And it pained him slightly. He wanted to be a normal 16 year old. Yet he wasn't. "Aww, cat got you're tongue, Hansen?" Connor threw his bag on the ground before targetting Evan. Evan began shaking.  _Code Sapling._ He thought. He knew it.  _Code Sapling._ It happened so quickly. Connor had smacked Evan hard across the face. The impact had left Evan trembling on the floor. Luckily, a teacher across the hall had just seen the incident from her classroom as she closed the blinds on the door. "Baby Hansen." Connor cooed before kicking Evan's head as it smashed against the locker. Evan let it happen. He wish he was stronger. There was a crackle on the intercom as Code Sapling was uttered. He didn't want to make a mess, but he could feel something trickling down the side of his head. "Is Baby Evan Hansen bleeding? You're weak. You're pathetic." There was another blow, but directly to Evan's stomach, sending him back into the locker as Evan's head hit the metal again. But there was the sound of running from down the hallway. The running turned to quick walking as someone approached him. "What. Did. You. Do. To. My. Brother." That was Jeremy. Evan sighed and gave a tiny smile. Jeremy was going to help him. 

"Well he was standing by you're locker looking like a loser so I fixed his appearance." Evan could see Jeremy's fists clench. 

"What. Did. You. Do." There was no bell, but people were coming out of their classes. Jeremy looked up to see Mr Davies. "Mr Murphy, I assure you whatever you have done to effect Mr Hansen will be discussed in detention. You'll be coming with me. Jeremy, you might want to get Evan somewhere else." Jeremy looked around and could see people flooding into the hallways. There was blood on the lockers. "Evan, you have to cooperate with me. You just have to walk to that room there, right there, then you don't have to cooperate with me at all, okay, but you hate attention and people are coming out from their classes okay." Jeremy grabbed Evan's arm and pulled it round his neck. Evan walked with Jeremy to the empty classroom where Jeremy shut the door and pulled his phone out, handing it to Evan. "I-I want to talk!" Evan said, tears trickling down his face. Evan handed Jeremy his phone back as he went on the squip squad gc. "Okay, I'm listening, I'm making sure Michael knows where I am I left my bag in Maths."

"It got too much in science so I came out here and it was you're locker, I remember! So I was standing there and then Connor came down the corridor, right! And...he smacked me and I fell on the floor and then he kicked my head against you're locker and I'm bleeding Jeremy I'm scared!" Evan cried. Jeremy walked to his brother and hugged him. "It's ok. I'll text mom. She's a nurse, right? She can come and help you." Evan let go of Jeremy so he could make the phonecall. Jeremy and Evan got to go home early that day. Evan didn't ever want to go back. 

 


	3. Around Half A Year Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something in Evan seemed to have changed whenever he was around Connor. Jeremy still wouldn't forgive the fucker, but of course, Connor would hang around with Michael. Michael. Another thing about Michael. Jeremy would look and Michael differently.

"GUYS IT'S HALLOWEEN TOMORROW! WHICH MEANS....." Brooke shouted running into the cafeteria. 

"JEREMY'S PARENTS ARE PISSING OFF AND WE ALL HAVE A SLEEPOVER!" Jake shouted. 

"Is that true?" Evan had only started coming out of his shell. 

"Yeah, mom and dad booked a hotel. It's kinda been tradition for a while." Evan nodded. "You can sleep upstairs, don't worry."

"Who's coming?"

"Me, you, Micah, Christine, Brooke, Chlo, Jenna, Rich, Jake, Zoe, 'Lana, Jared and Connor I think, do we have a confirmation if Michael's stoner buddy's coming tomorrow?" Everyone shook their head. "No? If not, Zoe Murphy's still coming and she didn't slam you're head into my locker on you're first day." Evan blushed as school was dismissed. 

* * *

_The next day_

"BOOM BOOM BOOM, A LEMME HEAR YOU SAY WAYHOO!"

"WAYHOOO!" Everyone shouted as a response. Brooke was high on sugar. So was mostly everyone. Michael pulled Jeremy out of the living room to the hall. 

"Jem, when are we going to tell them?"

"hmm?" Jeremy replied.

"Jem you fool! About  _US!"_ Jeremy froze. 

"I actually haven't thought of that...I need to check on Evan, you see if you can get a confirmation of whether mister you're stoner buddys coming. Also, just tell them we're dating! No big deal!" Jeremy said calmly. Michael scoffed as he watched his boyf(Riend) run up the stairs. Jeremy knocked on Evan's room. 

"EvAn HAnSen i hAvE tO TelL You SomEtHING!"

"Come in Jeremy." Evan sighed, a smile on his face. Jeremy walked in his room. 

"Evan, you know Michael. Well he's my boyfriend AND...." Jeremy got a text off of Michael, "Connor Murpy's just turned up, you wanna come downstairs."

"JEREMY YOU KNOW I LIKE HIM!" Evan whisper shouted. Jeremy smirked. 

"I only asked. Jeremy said, waiting until Connor was in the house before picking Evan up. 

"JEREMY PUT ME DOWN JEREMY JEREMY JEREMY FUCK STOP IT JEREMY JeReMy tHAT HuRt oh my GOD PUT ME DOWN!" Evan shouted all the way down the stairs. 

"GUYS WATCH IT!" Jeremy shouted. "YEET!" He shouted, dropping Evan on the couch. Evan screamed into a pillow. 

"THIS. IS. WHY. NOBODY. SHOULD. EVER. TRUST. MY. BROTHER. MICHAEL HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DISCOVER YOU LOVED THIS PIECE OF CRAP!" 

"okay who gave YoU alcohol!" Connor said. Evan entirely forgot about that part. Jeremy turned Evan over so he was facing the ceiling and not the brown leather. 

"Absolutely nobody, but someone got a hold of my mountain dew red stash, Michael we need a top up Evan downed 4 bottles I watched him and now he's like this." Michael cackled, and that triggered everyone to laugh because Michael's laugh was contagious. Around half an hour later, Evan felt an anxiety attack coming on for no reason, but everyone was laughing and had their eyes shut so Evan quickly made an exit. He ran up the stairs and dangled from his bedroom which onlooked their backgarden. Evan held his phone as a text came through. 

"Where u go?" Jeremy texted him. 

"Room. Sudden anxiety attack. It's not bad, I'm okay. You can ring me if you want, just don't hook me up to the TV *winks* So everyone can see me." Jeremy soon enough had connected his phone to the TV and rang his brother. 

"Firstly, I already know you and Michael have made out like 16 times. Secondly, I'm sitting on my windowcill because why not. Thirdly, I can hear myself on the TV downstairs Jeremy why." Evan said, hiding his face from the camera. 

"Firstly, WE KISSED ONCE! Secondly, gET OFF YOU'RE WINDOWCILL I'M SO TELLING HEIDI AND DAD. Thirdly, HI FUCKER!" Jeremy shouted. Except the third part was Connor. Evan accidentally fell backwards and dropped his phone. "WE'RE GOOD I JUST FELL BACK!" and that was that. 


	4. Evan Couldn't Contain It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when it wwas getting okay, Connor left Evan behind.

Connor sighed as he shut his book. He usually chilled in the computer room when he was high to take his mind off of things. But he was usually alone. Well, Evan Hansen was here. Connor smiled. Evan really was cute, and he could type quickly as well, so that was always a bonus. "What ya writing Hansen?"

"A fanfiction."

"Presumably about trees."

"Actually, no it's not. It's currently 19 pages long and it features me and Lana because we're quite close and she...knows and it describes my features a lot better than I can in real life." Evan said. Over the course of the next 3 days, Evan spent more times in the computer rooms. His stress was sky rocketing, and one day, Connor didn't turn up at all. It was only after a text from Zoe explaining all about Connor and why he wasn't at school anymore it set in. Connor was gone, for good. "Hi Evan." 

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Evan screamed at his mother as he ran up the stairs. Jeremy was already home. 

"Hi, Ev." Jeremy smiled, but Evan just shoved past him, slammed his door shut and locked it. Connor was gone. And Evan was alone once more. 


	5. The one where connor was thought to be dead but turned up @ school.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was a tough day for evan. turned better when someone turned up.   
> -  
> ignore my deliberate rants about Mamma Mia (here we go again) in the chapter. it's getting a bit messsyyyyyy.  
> also some very vague friday night dinner references for the brits.

"Evan-"

"Get away from me, Jeremy! I'm not 4 I don't need to be treated like I am!" Evan said, slamming the car door and sitting in silence. Connor was gone. Connor wasn't here anymore. So Evan had no reason to be happy. His only reason to be happy was the orchard. But it was mid-October and the leaves were starting to wilt away leaving nothing but bare branches. So Evan really did have nothing to look forward to. And that was, tonight, he would run away. He would run away from the Heeres. He didn't need Jeremy. He didn't need James.  _He didn't need his mom._ He needed out. And that's where he was going...

* * *

_The Date: October 26th._

_Missing Person Report_

_Name: Evan Hansen_

_Age: 17_

_Last Seen: October 25th  
_

_Reasons: Evan was last seen at Eastbrooke High School, New Jersey._

_Appearance: Blue eyes, sandy blonde hair. Last seen wearing: A navy hoodie, blue jeans, black shoes._

_Approach with caution! He can be dangerous, although is unlikely to be armed in any ways. He has Aspergers Syndrome, according to Jeremy Heere._

_If found, contact 07 8994 2133465 (idk if that's a real number dont ring it plz)_

* * *

Jeremy couldn't believe it. He remembered the look of shock on Heidi's face when he asked her "Did Evan come home?" And when she replied "I thought he was with you." That raised alarms. Evan had to be somewhere. He wouldn't just leave like that. He was without his medication. He was without his family. After a long hour of trying to remember anything unusual about Evan today, the three people within the house went up to bed. Jeremy cried himself to sleep, totally ignoring his phone being spammed by the group chat. 

Evan debated going to the orchard. But then he remembered that would probably be the first place Jeremy would look. So he kept walking. He walked past Jared's house. He walked past the Murphy's house where Connor should be but wasn't. He pulled his hood up on the navy jacket and put his earphones in. That was his plan to tame his anxiety. He also had his rucksack with a sleeping bag and food and water. He also had 37 portable chargers with him so he could listen to music and stop his phone from dying. Don't ask why 37. Evan didn't know either. But he did know, as he was looking down, someone gently brushed his shoulder and he let out an extremely low pitched bitter "watch it you bastard." loud enough for the passerby to hear before he continued his walk. Now the question was where would Evan go? He could go anywhere in the world! He could go to Australia! He had his passport on him in the case of the worst. He could even go to Athens and be like a real life Mamma Mia type thing! Evan smiled at the thought. It was either really sunny or really stormy. And the sea was a gorgeous turquoise. He could literally become Donna Sheridan. That's it. There was an airport approximately 18 minutes from the orchard via. car. Well, it's a good thing Evan has enough cash to legally provide himself with one. But what would be the fun in that? He saw a bike on the ground, presumably left by someone in the orchard, but Evan picked it up and began to peddle it as hard as he could. He was going to Athens whether it was the death of him. Now, Evan hated admitting this but he was  _scared_ and he missed home! Jeremy especially. He missed Jeremy. Evan didn't know how long he'd been cycling for, but when he heard the low hum of planes above coming in for landing, it must have meant he'd been cycling for quite some time, because there, in front of him, was the pretties airport he had ever seen. 

 "Watch it you bastard." That came from the small boy's hidden face. Was it a really small man or an average sized lad? Connor didn't know because he was taller than his whole family so everyone to him was small. Connor shook the feeling off. It was probably some druggie. But there was a flyer on the lampost that caught Connor's attention. "Evan Hansen's missing? What! For how long!" He whispered, ripping the paper and running home. He burst through the door. "Oh. just you. Thought it was someone important." Zoe said, sarcastically, not sensing the warning in the air to how worried Connor was.   
"Haha very funny but seriously." Connor said, throwing the poster down on the table. Zoe skimmed it quickly and her eyes widened.   
"Oh my god! I know he's been really depressed lately because I accidentally- wait no. nevermind."   
"Zoe..." Connor said, now knowing his sister was partly involved.   
"You're not going to like it..."  
"Will you just tell me why on earth evan hansen, someone with extreme anxiety, is now missing!" Zoe took a deep breathe and looked her brother square in the eye.   
"So. You know when you didn't come home that one time and you texted me saying if anyone asks where you are tell them you're dead. I did just that. To Evan. And he went and told the whole fucking school you died. Right. And then he became not a soft uwu depressed boy, a proper emo. Okay. And then he didn't turn up to Jeremy's last night so they sent the fliers out, I believe so."  
"I'M SORRY YOU TOLD EVAN I  _DIED!"_  
"Hi Connor honey!" Cynthia said, trying to lighten the mood.   
"Mom, My fucking sister told someone I've liked for ages and ages and may have kicked against his brothers locker on his first day but that's another story that I died and now he's missing. I'm now going to talk to the family of Evan Hansen to try and find out more information to see if I can find him and then persuade him not to do anything stupid!" Connor grabbed quite a large overcoat in the shade of black and a scarf and slammed the door shut. He walked, well, quick-walked, to the Heere's household. He knocked on the door gently and a blonde in her mid 30's answered the door. "Hi, I'm Connor Murphy, Evan's schoolmate, I think I know how to find him. Can I come in?"

* * *

Evan could imagine it now. He'd move to Athens, find a run down shack, turn it into a hotel, and become one of three people to be someone's dad. It was either he was imagining a bit too hard, but he was almost hallucinating. But what he had to do was buy clothes and a suitcase. He pulled out his stash of money from his rucksack and walked around the stores. Seeing as it was a fairly large airport, he managed to find stores of all occasions. He managed to find several different outfits and a suitcase soon enough. He payed and walked to the bathrooms where he changed from his navy clothing, which he was last sighted in, and into something more bright. A yellow shit with black jeans and his normal black shoes. He also managed to make his hair somehow brighter. Or maybe that was just the lighting?  
 _Incoming text from Jeremy:_

 _Jeremy: Where the fuck are you._  
Jeremy: Connor MURPHY's just turned up at our door asking for you.   
Jeremy: Fuck this, please just say you're safe. I don't want you getting hurt or abused or anything.   
Evan: I'm fine. I'm at an airport. You won't recognise me. When you're here, I'll be on a plane heading 10 hours away from New Jersey. I'll be under a new name, new life, somewhere 10 hours away. You don't need me, Jeremy. You never needed me. This is my new start.   
Jeremy: WHAT AIRPORT ARE YOU AT  
Jeremy: EVAN PLEASE ANSWER MOM HASN'T STOPPED CRYING! PLEASE DON'T SAY WE HAVE TO GET THE POLICE INVOLVED! EVAN PLEASE YOU'RE 17 YOU CAN'T START A NEW LIFE ON YOU'RE OWN!  
Evan: Watch me. 

There was a surge of adrenaline rushing through Evan's veins as he hit send. "Deparure to Athens, Greece from New Jersey, America in half an hour." The intercom crackled. Evan nodded. He had his ticket. "I still have 20 minutes before I board." Evan whispered, not realising he'd accidentally pressed record and had sent it to Jeremy. Jeremy had seen it. Now it was too late. It was going to be a long 30 minutes. 

* * *

"GUYS! LOOK AT THIS!" Jeremy shouted, showing everyone the video. 

"I'M SORRY OUR SON IS GOING TO ATHENS!" Heidi shouted.

"It appears so." James said simply, not really listening. 

"Jeremy you can drive." Connor said, a blank expression on his face. 

"Yeah?"

"We're going to the airport." Connor said, already out the door and into Jeremy's car. 

"Hey Micah. Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't really talk umm...I'm sorry. We're going to the...me and Connor. Murphy, yes. Misunderstanding babe, but we're going to the airport to go and retrieve my brother. K. Love you." Jeremy said hanging up, hitting the gas. 

"I can't believe he'd actually decide to go to Athens! Like! Why!" 

"Connor, it's okay mate, we're 15 minutes away!" Jeremy said, trying to reassure the taller boy. 

"15 minutes could still be too long! FUCKING TRAFFIC!" Connor shouted. 

"If we die, tell Evan I love him..." Jeremy said , reversing slightly and speeding past everyone else. "Thats illegal and we didn't die, miraculously. And why were there no speed cameras?" He asked. The two approached the airport together, as nervous to see Evan than ever before. 

* * *

"Anyone bording the 489 to Athens, Greece from New Jersey, America, go to you're gates now." Evan picked his suitcase up, forgetting how slightly heavy it was. He pulled it up on to the escelator only to see two familiar faces burst through the door. "Shit..." Evan whispered, returning his focus to the extremely long escelator ahead of him. 

"THERE! JEREMY THERE!" Connor. That was Connor. Connor wasn't fucking dead. But why was he here? Why did he care? Evan didn't care anymore. He was going to Greece and nobody could stop him. Not even his crush. Not even his  _brother._ His heart rate increased and his breathing became shallow as he heard running across the floor. He turned his head around to see Jeremy running full speed up the escelator. Evan had 2 minutes and 13 seconds to make it to his gate without getting caught. Even if Connor or Jeremy caught him, the answer was no. He wasn't coming back. He was being Donna Sheridan. The world was at his fingertips. He may fall in love, he never knew. But what was the point in worrying if he couldn't afford to keep a hold of his family. He took a deep breathe and approached the top of the escelator. He hopped off, suitcase in his right hand, as he pulled his passport out of his pocket. He was so close to freedom, and then there was a hand on his shoulder. 

"Evan you don't know what you're doing!" Jeremy's voice was pained. But Evan didn't turn around. 

"I'm going to miss my flight. Now if you don't mind, I have a 10 hour flight to catch." He shrugged Jeremy off of him and approached airport security. He made it through the gate just to see Connor. Connor. Connor. Connor was alive. Connor was here. On the other side of the gate. He could turn around and be with Connor. He could start a new life with Connor, a family even. But he was on his way to Athens, and he couldn't be happier with the decision he had made. 

So 10 hours later, when he touched down in Athens, it was something out of a dream. And then he saw the shack. The run down shack. He approached it and the landowner said if you can rebuild it you can have it for free. So he did. In the span of 6 months and with very little cost. It became the Hotel BellaDonna in reference to Donna Sheridan where this crazy dream. But it was April 17th, Evan was now living in Greece, he'd made sure every single one of his guests were okay before heading to the singular stable beneath the hotel where he saw a gorgeous young girl asleep. His heart pounded. It hadn't pounded that way in a while. Not since Connor. But Connor was just a myth. He crouched down beside her, gently nudged the golden haired girl awake and her eyes fluttered open. She had tanned skin that glowed even in the dark. She had eyes the same colour as the turquoise sea and she aquired a denim dress. "I-I'm so sorry sir! I know I shouldn't have done it! I really know! Should I pay you anything? I have little money!"

"Don't worry miss. I'm Evan. Evan Hansen."

"Lily. Lily-Grace Fritjak." And that was that. Evan was head over heels in love with a stranger he'd just met. His anxiety was that of a myth, he'd almost forgotten past times, but he knew, he was 18, and in love again....

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was originally supposed to be a 3 lined chapter turned into an extremely long one. oop.   
> -  
> also book 2's literally going to be about how connor and jeremy accidentally track down evan two years later and there's slight banter between connor and evan because evan has a gf now and it's not connor and connors an angrey boi (typo is deliberate)


End file.
